Family Day

Do you remember what you were doing on January 29, 2003? I do. I was driving down to Delaware in a sleety, slushy snowstorm to begin my new life as Mommy to Hannah and Elizabeth. Rob had some banking to take care of, so I drove down by myself because I didn't want to be late for what was going to be the most important day of my life.

Here I am at Adoptions from the Heart, holding Hannah. Clearly I was in such a rush I had no time to do anything with my hair... Do I look scared? Well, I was. And some days I still am. Being a Mom has changed my life in ways that I expected: lack of sleep, lots of laughs, lots of yelling, and, did I mention lack of sleep? But it also changed in ways that I never could have imagined. I've had to answer questions I'd never even thought to ask in my lifetime (do bugs mind when we squish them?) and I've had to heal hurts that broke my heart, too (Charlie says I'm weird, am I?)

I've called poison control (twice in one day) and sat at my child's side in the ER while doctors tried to clear her lungs of infection. I've held a hand as a leg cast was applied. I've danced the snoopy dance when a penny was pooped out just days before surgery was scheduled to remove it. I've taken punches and bites and kicks from angry little girls who really really really wanted to jump on the furniture, spin around in the dryer, eat three bags of potato chips or go get the mail stark naked. I've kissed boo-boos and removed splinters and coaxed a tick out of a belly button. I've been puked on, cried on, peed on and pooped on.

And I've also been loved and loved more unconditionally than I thought possible. In the span of 24 hours I went from being a peace-loving-let's-talk-it-out pacifist to someone who now would carry and use a gun to protect my family, if I wasn't worried that I'd shoot myself. I know my children's shortcomings but they are instantly forgiven. I revel in my daughters successes and weep at their struggles. I worry for them, about them and because of them. I want to fix the world for them and make them want to grow into people who will actually be able to fix it.

I'm almost a morning person.

I only barely remember what the 44 years before being a Mom were like. I'm sure there were good times. I'm sure there was love lost and gained, dinners out, evenings in, parties and food and conversations that did not include the words poop, Elmo or because-I-said-so.

But now I can't imagine a life without these Mom experiences. Being a Mom has forced me to live outside myself, and, you know, I kind of like the scenery out here.

And it all started seven years ago with these two little bundles (Hannah on the left). This picture was taken on our first day as a family. We were in a hotel room in Delaware and I just put them together on a boppy and stared at them until they woke up. They were then, and continue to be, the most beautiful thing on the landscape of my life.
And here they are six months later, just before their "Welcome to the Family" party, that we celebrated right after they were baptized:

And this past summer at the Jersey Shore, obeying me without argument ... ...when I told them not to get their clothes wet in the ocean.
I love my family. :)