Conversations and Comedians

There are many, many things that surprise me about motherhood. Stuff that I was SURE I knew and could handle (before I actually had children...). Some are poignant -- like really how much you love your children and how you want to protect them from every little thing, even though you know you can't or else they'd never grow. And some are very happy.

This post is about one of my favorite things about motherhood. And that is how absolutely hilarious children are.

Back in the day I spent a lot of time around comedians.
And I'm here to tell you that none of them ever made me laugh as hard as Hannah and Lizzie do, completely unintentionally.

Here are some examples from the last week or so:

The scene: Screaming from the basement where the television set has fallen (during iCarly and absolutely FAVORITE television show) from its perch on the TV stand and grazed Lizzie's leg.
Hannah, to Lizzie: Oh Lizzie, I am just so worried about your leg. I hope that you are all okay.
Lizzie: Oh Hannah it was so scary. I hope I didn't break my leg.
Me, to Lizzie: Your leg is fine, but how did the television fall off the stand? Was someone touching it?
Lizzie: No, I was just POINTING at it.
Me: Just pointing at it? Then how did it fall? Is there a ghost in the basement who pushed it?
Lizzie, looking worried: Wellllll, MAYBE when I was pointing at it, I touched it by mistake and it fell.
Me after I had checked out the leg and put the television set back on its stand: Okay, well you' and the TV are both fine, but don't touch the television.
Hannah: I'm really happy you're okay Lizzie. I was worried about you.
Me, to Hannah: So tell me the truth, were you worried more about the television set breaking or Lizzie's leg breaking.
Hannah, with MUCH feeling: Oh Mommy, of COURSE I was more worried about the television!
Lizzie: Mama, do we really have a ghost in the basement?

The scene: About a week ago there was a dead mouse on our driveway, most likely dropped there by a hawk, judging by the wound. I noticed Lizzie sitting quietly on the driveway about three feet away from it, staring intently.
ME: Lizzie why are you staring at the dead mouse?
Lizzie: I want to see its soul to come out of its body and go up to heaven.

The scene: The girls are playing outside on the rock wall that divides our property and our neighbor to the rear, Mrs. Whitlock.
ME: Don't go on the other side of that wall, girls. I don't want you disturbing Mrs. Whitlock's property.
Hannah: Why does Mrs. LipGloss care if we disturb her grass?
Me: Her name is Whitlock.
Hannah: I know. Why does Mrs. LipGloss care if we disturb her grass?
(This is funny because it adds to Hannah's long list of malapropisms including froggy for foggy, bund for bun, piggybank for piggyback and alien for ambulance...)

The scene: The family taking our usual Sunday cruise out towards Lancaster; them doing their usual fighting

ME: Girls stop fighting. I don't know why you just can't be friends with each other!

Hannah: We're not friends, Mommy. We're sisters.

The Comedians: